by Deb Bryan
I have been caught by surprised for my need for friendship lately. And today’s job search brings special kind friends. The kind you make at college, during military service, and now finding work in a disastrous, difficult, no good economy. I have found that I need those friends because they know how I feel, care about my interviews, and grieve with me when a myriad of job search disappointments come.
And then there has been another self-discovery piece; I rot at sitting still. Waiting to be picked by an employer feels like I’m at a junior high dance waiting for the guys to ask me to dance. For those of you that have made your way through raising kids: did you every have one (or a few) when you did not hear noise coming from their direction, you had better get up fast and figure out what’s coming on? You just knew something exciting was about to happen and you were about to pay. Something like teaching themselves to parachute off the roof, tying firecrackers to the family dog’s tail to make him run faster in a neighborhood race, combining chemicals in the basement like in an old Frankenstein movie, or running away with a friend to see how it feels. (Didn’t we all think other kids were just as creative as we were?) During my childhood my Dad was usually in another part of the world; and good thing too!
Sympathy doesn’t cut it. Truth is I need to do something, anything, rather than wait for the phone to ring. It isn’t the money so much as the nothingness that causes the angst. I need to work; I need to feel I have a purpose. I need to feel like there is something creative, physically taxing, something productive, something to, you know, get the hustle from my decidedly American brain. I worked at starting my own company for medical billing, recycling for cash, and adult daycare but somehow they just can’t scratch the itch I have for creative satisfaction.
Trying to think creatively is what has brought me to blogging my thoughts. But you know what? Blogging is kind of embarrassing. What if no one likes it? Blogging is scary. What if no one thinks I am creative but my Ma? Blogging requires that you work to write something down on a very regular basis. What if I get writers block and sit here for hours? What if the dog eats my latest creation? What if I never start?!
So I have been caught by surprised for my need for friendship lately. And today’s job search blog brings special kinds of friends. Try’n to get by with a little help from my friends. (Hey Ma! It’s getting quiet again; must be something creative coming on.)